Dirty Feet, Stinky Smells, and Gratitude

It’s twelve-fifty-four ante-meridiem. I have just completed the first day of my vacation in Brooklyn. I sit here in my four-bedroom apartment in Greenpoint feeling relaxed… which is a stark transition from recent points of view. It’s a little stinky outside my window. The stink is amplified by my window fan and I am humored by it at most. My Nag Champa incense helps. But I feel like I am in a back alley in a foreign country and I rather like it. I arrived last night and Val helped me unload my stuff. Stuff… god damn have I been thinking about stuff over the last seven days, more actually. I’ve been moving boxes out of my apartment in Boston for several weeks. On top of that I had to pack up my classroom for the summer (one of my least favorite things about the job). I am seriously trying to shed all my STUFF. New York is a good place to do this because there simply isn’t that much room for stuff. My folks helped me the last two days of my move – I couldn’t have done it without them. It was actually the best thing about the packing – was working on a project with my mom and dad (coordinating and communicating and planning together)… I like doing that kind of organization with people I love. Even though there were moments of stress and anxiety, engaging in that kind of work with someone is a bonding experience. And now that I sit here and reflect on it, I realize I really enjoyed it. I don’t know if I would have realized that if I didn’t have the time to sit here and write that down. Time. Another thing I’ve been thinking about. Today I had time to leisurely lay in bed upon waking up. I stared at the streamers hanging above my bed and contemplated a depth of things – from my naval to God. I used to spend so much time doing that in high school. One of the hardest things about growing up is having to be responsible all the time. I know I feel a daunting sense of responsibility caring for twenty 8-year-olds daily. But I am so grateful for the ability to take a real break and get back to me and to basics. It’s crazy to me that most Americans and probably most people don’t get an opportunity to do this. It’s not human. And there are moments where I think – jeez, this is solipsistic. And then I have to remember that caring for myself is not a selfish act. Some highlights in my last thirty hours as a New Yorker have been enjoying grilled pineapple with campari at Colleen’s roof deck BBQ, going to Trader Joe’s with Liz and having to have serious intention about what I bought because I had to consider how much space I had, what I could carry, and how many meals I was actually going to have at home, and an impromptu visit from Edwards. He’s practically my neighbor and we walked to a funky bar called Spuyten Duyvil (upon the recommendation of my housemate). It was a neat bar with beer and wine and a big outdoor garden. Tomorrow the plan is to explore Greenpoint further.